**You might want to get a drink and snack for this one... I cannot make any promises about how long I might or might not go on.
It started as any ordinary day (although Sonja might argue that I was a little frazzled and rushed when I got to the gym this morning and had to go back home and unlock the door for our cleaning fairy). Today was a playday at my sis-in-laws neighborhood pool, and we went excited at the chance to play with our friends and cousins that we do not get that much play time with. So, off we went.
Now, I must tell you that Callan has suddenly developed an IRRATIONAL fear of the water. Last year, he was a fish...swimming unassisted in any water with no issues. This summer he woke up afraid and with the thought that if the water was over his head he could not swim or even get in.
In retrospect, I should have left well enough alone. But I did not. I took advantage of the fact that her pool was only 3 feet (where he could stand with his head above water because ours is 3 1/2 feet and his head is not above water). I wanted to encourage him, and work with him, and teach him. I am not a big pool person, I just do not get in and swim. I love to watch and play but I leave the big pool time up to Daddy. Today, I got in specifically to work with Callan. HE FREAKED OUT. I apologized to my friends and explained what I was doing and that I was working with him a little to get past this fear. I tired to show him he was okay, that I was going to get him, that I would not let anything happen to him, and we swam to the wall. He FREAKED OUT more. I told him if he would do it one more time I would stop, and he could swim however he wanted to. But, I told him that I wanted him to do it for me one more time. HE FREAKED OUT more, climbed out of the pool screamed NOOOOOOO and RAN for the hills. All the while, me telling him if he ran I was going to take him to the bathroom and spank him.
Because here in the Jones family, we spank. Not that much mind you... but that is because I do not really have to. I have good kids who mind and know that when I say "if you do that you will get a spanking" I really mean it. But, he RAN and I jumped out of the pool and went after him (I must admit the look on my face had to be bad because usually my kids do not get to that point and I was baffled that this was happening -and mad- and embarrassed). I took him into the PRIVATE bathroom, shut the door and spanked him one time on the bottom. Now, to clarify I did not spank because he freaked out, I spanked because he screamed NO at me and RAN. In my family, running when mom says STOP is a "DANGER" offense. Only once have I had a child run from me. It was in a grocery parking lot and I was about 8 months pregnant with Callan when Baylor decided to run... I ran, pulled a very important "hold the baby in" muscle and learned mommy lesson #42, "kids do not run from mommy". It is dangerous both for him (run into traffic or slip around the pool deck) for me (running after him- 'nuff said) and for his 3 siblings who I abandoned to run after him (drowning,etc.) So, I was fine with my decision to pull out the spank card for this offense. However Black Nike Tankini Mommy... WAS NOT.
When I exited the bathroom (with Callan already fine) I heard Black Nike Tankini Mommy say something to the effect of "You have obviously terrorized your son, I think it was inappropriate for you to take him in the bathroom and BEAT him without explaining what you were doing. You are scaring my children." I pulled up my sunglasses and looked directly at her to see if she were serious, or a part of some funny TV show videotaping and paying off my child for the tantrum he just threw. But she was dead serious. I looked at her and said something to the effect of "I did not beat my child, you have no idea what just went on and you have no idea what we were doing or why this just happened." And I walked away SPITTING mad. So mad in fact, I tried to yank all my kids out of the pool and go home because I was feeling out of control and ready to explode (on Black Nike Tankini Mommy). I got my bearings, took Callan back into the pool, swam with him a little (with a new attitude-and me not letting go of him), let him about his merry way and then I grew some un-Ashley like nerves and walked straight over to BNTM and told her how I felt. That she did not see the whole episode and made assumptions on the last 30 seconds of our "chase". I told her our family rules on spanking and that he pulled the "Danger Card". I told her in no uncertain terms that I did not/do not BEAT my children, that she did not know me or my kids and really was speaking out of turn. I explained to her the situation and told her that I knew what I was doing and that I was handling the situation as best I knew how. There were a few other words most of which blurr out in my upset state of mind, but there you have it... my first real mommy confrontation.
I HATE that. I hate that she made me feel inadequate, I hate that she made me feel like a bad mom, I hate that she nosed her way into my business...especially when I had about 7 mommy friends there who would have gladly stepped in had I gone too far. I hate that I had to come home and take Tylenol for my stress headache. I hate that she will consume my thoughts and make me question all that I am. I hate that she was not able to see my heart and know what kind of parent I really am. I hate that the word hate even comes to my mind when thinking about today... and that one little woman who has no idea who I am or what I do will make me second guess myself for a long time to come.
