Concrete is very difficult to move in the mornings. Especially from the bed to the floor. Concrete spends a long time "Setting Up" enough to get any clothes on. This morning Mommy has had enough dealings with Concrete. Concrete also has developed a new attitude that does not "set up" well with me. Concrete even went so far as to act like he was going to take a swing at me this morning when I made him angry about getting a move on it. Bad choice for Concrete. I had hoped to pull the "Concrete will now go to bed 30 minutes earlier card", but unfortunately Concrete's brother has a ball game and we will not get home to meet that 30 minute earlier bed time. I am getting so tired of the morning routine with Concrete. I am worn out with the repeating myself to "get up", "get dressed", "brush teeth", "get socks", etc. I have tried to just walk away and make him take care of everything himself (which he does not like to do) and he came downstairs with the front of his hair soaking wet and slicked forward and the rats nest in the back went untouched. I could not let go of that and let him go out in public like that. I am at my wits end, and do not know what to do to motivate my Concrete. In the time it takes him to even get out of the bed, everyone else is up, dressed, brushed and ready to go. I am done with it...any suggestions?
Things I have tried (do not call DHS on me)
1. Every time I have to tell him to get up, bed time moves up 10 minutes for that night. (Our M-W is so busy that most times we are not home before 8 or 8:30 and bedtime is 8 around here)
2. Every time I have to tell him to get up, awake time moves up by 10 minutes (for when we have late ball game nights, but then it just punishes me because I have to get up earlier)
3. Spraying with water bottle (bad idea- but it worked)
4. Yelling- frustration took over and then I just felt bad.
5. Taking away privileges (like the DS, or Wii, or our night time Mommy and Concrete only Chapter Book time)
6. Phone call to Daddy.
7. Walking away
17 comments:
I know it is frustrating when you feel like you have done everything. My only suggestion is go with the I am not helping you get ready route. Remember last year when we took all of Selah's clothes away for a whole week except 2 outfits and she had to where the same two outfits to school all week? It KILLED me to let her go to school like that but we were so tired of here complaining about her clothes when she has more clothes than ANYONE in our family. As much as it will kill you, let him go to school with his hair a mess. I would also stick with the removing ALL of his video games and let him earn them back according to him getting up in the mornings. I don't know if this will work but I feel your pain!
of friend- i wish i had the perfect answer! we haven't started the sleep in in the morning like teens stage yet!
isn't this what every mom of bigger kiddos goes thru.
i'm pretty sure my mom-in-law still throws everything but the kitchen sink at my senior high bro-in-law. i know she takes away privelges- like dates, etc. so- i'm thinking you are on the right track. find one thing he loves and consistantly take that away until behavior changes.
i can imgine how frustrating the morning is- i mean you have 4 kiddos to get perfected for the day:)
i do think getting sprayed out of bed might do the trick- though i'm sure anger would rage from concrete.
good luck!you are an amazing mom that i truly look up to.
courtney
Coming from a former "Concrete", all I can say is good luck. Poor Dad was the one always trying to get me up and it was dang near impossible. I will say my mom came up with the most horrific song in the entire world that she would sing to me and it always worked. Anything to make her stop singing. I still have nightmares about the way she would sing it, at the top of her lungs every morning.
I used to be that way. By my teen years, the water bottle was all that worked. Ironically, I now struggle with periodic insomnia.
How about I pop over...(if I am awake, just let me know when Concrete wakes up) and I get him up and going. Maybe being embarrassed will get his engine going.
OK, I once had some Concrete in my house and I finally tried an alarm clock. Since it wasn't on your list, I had to ask, have you tried one? I mean, it is L-O-U-D! It is of the Batman style but it has the same type of alarm as our "adult" ones. It also has the radio option, which we allow as long as it is working. When it stops working, we go back to the L-O-U-D alarm option. Now they *usually* come down dressed. Well Jackson NEVER has socks and his taste and style do not match mine, but I have learned to let that go. As for the hair, I have absolutely NO ADVICE. That my friend is still a fight around here. I love it when Jackson grows his curly top out, b/c we just spray it and he goes. Seriously. Jonah on the other hand--you would think we were torturing him when we go at the rat's nest in back that he has not touched when the front is wet and slicked down. Hope your Concrete gets up in the morning! At least this week you will have two days where the Concrete can sleep. If he is like mine, his internal clock wakes at 6:30 on days where he can sleep until 9 a.m.! :))
Do you have a trumpet? Cause I do! That's how my dad always got us up out of bed. He would play terribly on a trumpet until we were all up and at 'em. Although, I like Nicole's take away all the games and get them back on at a time suggestion.
I agree with the alarm clock... we did that for our little guy when he started K and it works (for the most part). Just make sure it is LOUD enough to be annoying. =)
try putting a gallon of cold milk on him. seriously--it's the only thing that worked for my cousin growing up (not spilling the milk actually on him, just the cold jug) or anything else cold--- a bag of frozen peas???
Take away EVERYTHING. Each day he complies give him back one thing. If he falls back into the not getting up - take it away again. You control it but at the same time he controls what privelges he has by his actions.
I am lucky not to have this problem but suffer in different ways - like he refuses to take a shower. How do I get him to take a shower?!?
Everyone has great advice. Kevin Leman (Making Kids Mind without Losing Yours) would recommend natural consequences. For example, going to school in your pajamas or without your hair combed or without breakfast. I know this would be terribly hard for mama, but something needs to be done.
The other option is the to bed early and you skip your nighttime activities. I know that is punishing you and the other children, but seriously what kid wants to consistently go to bed at 7 p.m. A few nights of that and he might get the point.
Decide on your consequences and stick with them even if it's hard and even if it means your life is difficult for awhile. Some of the responsibility needs to shift to him, so perhaps decide together what the consequences will be. You'll both be on the same page and he'll have a choice to make in the morning.
I hope you get it resolved. Please do another post once you find a solution!
I would to talk your son and ask him for his solution. He must be aware that it is a problem also. Bringing him in on the problem solving might be a good lesson for later in life.
I am not at that stage with my Daxton yet and I know it is coming but, Gavin I have trouble getting up now and he's 3. What about after the first request for Concrete to get up you strip the covers and pillows off the bed and throw ice in the bed with him (sounds so cruel) I know Gavin is a hard sleeper and not much will wake him because he sleeps so heavy and requires more but, I know this would work, he hates being cold. As for the sheets they will dry!
Too funny with the concrete story...I can just see it in the mornings good grief. Love the spray bottle...call me if DHS comes knocking, might be able to help you out. Seriously, I like the alarm clock honking across the room so he has to get up. (Then I'd set a second one where he can't find it each morning that goes off 10 minutes later cause you know he's going to jump right back in bed.) And the hair thing...let the girls make fun of him one morning and that will change quickly! Margie
I agree with the alarm clock. We've got one for our little man. I can say it gets him up in the mornings...but it doesn't help him get dressed. I'm still hounding him about that! Although I like the spray bottle! May have to try that! LOL!
I also agree with letting/MAKING him go to school in his pj's or with his hair a mess. Hopefully it would only happen once!!!!!
Another idea. Have you thought of just making him wear his school clothes to bed instead of PJ's? It would make it easier on you, that way he wouldn't have to get dressed at least!
Good Luck!
After reading this, I just had a flash back to my childhood. Jenny W mentioned this as well, but my mom would come in my room and sing the most annoying 'Goodmorning' song in the world. Trust me, the louder and more annoying you can make the song, the better. Also, my mom used to pull my covers completely off my bed. Another thing she did was put a ziplock bag of ice on my, or use the spray bottle. Good luck with Concrete!
THE CONCRETE NEEDS A RADIO ALARM THAT PLAYS FOR 30-60 BEFORE TIME TO GET UP. PHYSICALLY HE NEEDS A SLOW WAKE UP (NOT TOO LOUD)AND ONE THAT WILL NOT CREATE HORRIBLE MEMORIES OR ANXIETY. A CUP OF HOT CHOCOLATE OR JUICE ON THE BESIDE TABLE AS AN ENCOURAGEMENT TO WAKE UP MAY SET A POSITIVE ROUTINE IN MOTION AND AS HE MATURES HE WILL TAKE HOLD AND STILL LOVE HIS MAMA. ALSO EARLIER BEDTIME. GOOD LUCK.
Post a Comment